Some book reviews are so brutal, they could leave a paper cut on your soul. But we all know authors have been quietly crafting the perfect clapback. Here are the worst reviews online… and the savage responses we’ve always wanted to fire.

1️⃣ “I wanted to like this book, but apparently my intelligence offended the author.”

Why it stings: The reviewer didn’t critique the story—they attacked you. 💀
Comeback: “Don’t worry, your intelligence is safe—just not your reading comprehension. 😎📚”

2️⃣ “I’ve seen more coherent stories written on bathroom walls.”

Why it stings: Graffiti > your taste in literature. 🚽✍️
Comeback: “Stay safe in those sketchy bathrooms. May your next read be less… infectious. 😬”

3️⃣ “If boredom were an art form, this book would be the Mona Lisa.”

Why it stings: Ouch. Timelessly insulting. 🖼️
Comeback: “Thanks! Timeless and priceless is exactly the energy I was going for. 😉🎨”

4️⃣ “I didn’t know you could publish something that makes sandpaper feel smooth.”

Why it stings: Basically, “this book hurts my soul.” 😖
Comeback: “At least someone’s reading closely enough to feel the texture. Sorry it didn’t land! ✨📖”