Some authors like nothing more than to cut other authors down. After all, if they berate you enough, maybe you'll stop publishing books and maybe even pull your current titles. After all, there's nothing better than eliminating the competition. Of course, you and I know that your books matter. You're a real author, and these insulting questions are just that - meant to be insulting. Now, let's take a look at them and what you can do about them.
When “Curiosity” Feels Like a Dig: The Hidden Insults in Author-to-Author Questions
The writing world is full of support, inspiration, and collaboration—but let’s be honest: sometimes it’s also full of egos, competition, and thinly veiled shade.
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation with another author thinking, “Wait... was that supposed to be a compliment?” or “Did they just insult me in question form?”—you’re not imagining things. Some questions, especially in online writing groups or casual conversations, are less about curiosity and more about undermining.
Here are some of the most common passive-aggressive or insulting questions authors ask each other—and how to spot the red flags.
1. “You actually finished a book? How long is it? Is it like a real book-length book?”
What it really means:
“I don’t believe you wrote something substantial or worth taking seriously.”
Why it’s a problem:
It implies that the author’s work isn’t legitimate or complete, especially if it’s self-published, short, or outside traditional publishing norms.
How to respond:
“Yes, I finished it—and it’s the perfect length for the story I wanted to tell. Have you finished any of your current works in progress?”
2. “Did you get a real editor, or did you just use AI/spellcheck?”
What it really means:
“I don’t think you value quality, and I’m questioning your professionalism.”
Why it’s a problem:
It discredits the author’s revision process and subtly accuses them of being lazy or cheap.
How to respond:
“I used a combination of tools and a freelance editor I trust. Every book needs a different process, right?”
3. “How many books have you sold? Like, actual readers, not just friends and family?”
What it really means:
“I’m measuring your worth by sales and assuming your audience isn’t ‘real.’”
Why it’s a problem:
This question crosses a line into personal metrics and sales shaming, which is never appropriate, especially in creative circles.
How to respond:
“My books are out there and finding their audience. Everyone starts somewhere.”
4. “You self-publish? That’s brave. I could never put something out that wasn’t traditionally approved.”
What it really means:
“I think self-publishing is inferior, and I’m elevating myself by saying I wouldn’t do it.”
Why it’s a problem:
It implies that self-published authors lack standards or gatekeeping, when in fact many are highly professional and business-savvy.
How to respond:
“Self-publishing gives me creative freedom and full control over my work. It’s not for everyone, but it works for me.”
5. “What genre is it? (You answer) Oh... I mean, I guess people read that.”
What it really means:
“I don’t respect your genre, and I’m subtly saying it’s not ‘real’ literature.”
Why it’s a problem:
It diminishes genres like romance, horror, erotica, or fanfiction.
How to respond:
The truth is that these genres have massive, loyal audiences and cultural impact, and they are immensely popular for a reason.
6. “How do you have time to write? I guess you don’t have kids or a real job?”
What it really means:
“I’m suggesting your life is easier or less valid, and that’s the only reason you’re productive.”
Why it’s a problem:
It weaponizes life circumstances and invalidates someone’s discipline, creativity, or sacrifices.
How to respond:
“Writing is part of my routine, and like anything else, I make time for it. Everyone’s schedule is different.”
7. “You’re publishing again? Isn’t it better to wait and make sure it’s actually good this time?”
What it really means:
“I didn’t think your previous work was good, and I’m questioning your right to keep publishing.”
Why it’s a problem:
This comment is directly condescending and hostile—it’s not a question, it’s a critique wrapped in faux concern.
How to respond:
“Thanks for your input, but I trust my process—and my readers do too.”
Why These Questions Matter
These kinds of “stupid” questions often come from insecurity, jealousy, or an attempt to assert superiority in the creative space. But they’re also toxic behaviors that damage writing communities, especially for new or underrepresented authors.
Recognizing these patterns helps you:
- Protect your confidence
- Set healthy boundaries
- Build connections with truly supportive writers
How to Protect Your Writing Space
- Trust your gut: If a question feels off, it probably is.
- Respond with grace—but don’t play along: You don’t have to engage deeply with passive-aggressive people.
- Build your circle carefully: Look for authors who uplift, collaborate, and encourage—especially across genres and publishing paths.
- Speak up: If you notice these questions being directed at others, offer support or redirect the conversation.
Final Thoughts
Writing is hard enough without having to dodge backhanded compliments and disguised insults from other writers. If you’ve been on the receiving end of one of these so-called questions, you’re not alone—and you’re not wrong to feel frustrated.
The writing community should be a place for creativity, growth, and mutual respect, not subtle put-downs. Keep writing, keep growing, and keep calling out the bad behavior when you see it.