Are you tired of all the social media hubbub? Do you hate interacting with your Twitter followers? Are you seeking new ways to totally piss off your Twitter followers so you have an excuse to interact less? If you answered yes to these questions, then you need my 5 step guide to totally pissing off all your Twitter followers to the point where they unfollow and block you!
1. Be a Follow for an Unfollow Account
In the past, the recommendation was to follow a bunch of people and after a certain number of days, unfollow everyone. The thinking is that this makes you look special. I mean, if you’ve only followed 25 people and you have 15,000 followers, you have such awesome content that people can’t bare to unfollow you, even if you don’t reciprocate or participate with your follows. People are getting wise to this, and there are numerous programs that allow Twitter users to see who unfollowed them and who isn’t following them. Some Twitter users even utilize programs that follow and unfollow automatically, according to certain triggers. For example, if a new person follows the account, the program automatically follows that account back. It does the reverse for unfollows. The reason for this is that Twitter’s algorithm has gotten stricter, especially for accounts that have more than 5,000 followers. You can only have about a 10% difference between your followers and following lists in order to follow more people. This has caused an increasing number of Twitter accounts to regularly check for unfollowers. Not to mention, you’re not being special. You’re being an asshole.
2. Send Stupid DMs or Worse – AUTO-DMs
When you think about engaging your followers, you probably think DMs are the way to do it. After all, getting a personalized message from new or existing followers is pretty darn cool. Unfortunately, it’s only pretty darn cool if the message is RELEVANT! If it’s not relevant, you are spamming people’s phones and pissing people off. The best-case scenario is that your message is simply ignored, but the person you sent it to could decide to immediately unfollow you, and in some cases, block you, which means you haven’t accomplished anything productive. So, for your own social media standing, do not send auto-DMs to thank new followers, promote your services or items, and for fuck’s sake, do NOT send HELLO DMs. If you are going to send a Direct Message, make sure that message is RELEVANT. For example, if you are talking to an author, make sure you have a relevant question. If you want to interact with a business, make sure your DM is about a product or service related to that business. If you just want to babble, post a comment.
3. Share a Tweet Through a DM
If you really want to be obnoxious, send a DM about a tweet to a random person on your follower's list or more than one person. I mean, if you're going to do it, go all out. Piss off your entire list. This is guaranteed to do some negative damage and ensure that you have fewer people than ever to interact with. The only time you should ever share a DM is when you know the person you are DMing extremely well, and the DM in question is very relevant to the information they'd like to know. The only thing that I can think of that would fit this criteria is a news article, which means you still shouldn't share your tweet, you should ask the person if they'd like to see this highly relevant news article you just found. If they say yes, share the link to the news article.
4. Post Nothing but Promotion Content
The days of – buy my shit – advertising are over. While a few promotional posts about products, services and wares are appropriate, it should not make up the majority of your Twitter feed. No one wants to scroll your personal feed and see 200 buy my shit posts, which means you better have something else in your feed along with your promotion content. Thankfully, it can be anything, including what you ate for breakfast and random comments, but the goal here is to look like a real person instead of a digital entity. If you want to take it a step further, post or retweet someone else’s content, just don’t retweet too often. People still want to ‘hear’ your voice.
5. Never Interact with Your Twitter Followers
If you want to be unknown, feel free to never interact with your Twitter followers. The whole point of social media is to engage and communicate. If people post comments to your feed and you never say anything, you’re not helping your standing. In fact, your followers may feel ignored and unfollow you. The best-case scenario is that you simply don’t get many if any comments. Now, for accounts with thousands of followers, you may feel slightly overwhelmed, but there’s a way to manage this. You’ll have to turn on comments for everyone, and you really should pick a time once a day to go into Twitter and comment on other people’s posts. Scroll your feed for 10 minutes and comment on whatever looks good. You’ll be helping your followers and yourself in the short and long term.
6. Set Your Scheduled Tweets to Post Every 60 Seconds
I’m looking at you Fox News and anyone else who thinks this is a good idea. If you schedule your tweets to post every 60 seconds or less, you will very quickly drown out everyone else on all your followers' lists. This is going to do nothing but piss people off. I actually had Fox news on my following list for about two weeks. Every single post I saw was Fox news. This was because they were literally tweeting every 15 to 30 seconds. That doesn't make an account relevant. That makes it spam. Just fry up some eggs and slap some ketchup on that. Instead, make sure you have some kind of gap between your posts. Let other people talk.
