There's nothing worse than waking up to a review or a comment or an email and being excited to read it because it's about your book, then finding out that it's nothing but a hate-filled tirade or something akin to - Your book sucks and I hate it.
The truth is that every fiction author, no matter how talented or experienced, eventually runs into criticism that feels less constructive and more like a personal attack. Whether it’s from a snarky reviewer, a dismissive acquaintance, or even a family member who just doesn’t “get” your work, the sting is real, and it may even be harsh enough to cause you to reconsider your writing career, but hold on! You're not alone, and while criticism is part of the writing journey, personal insults and offhand put-downs shouldn't be part of the journey. Here's how to deal with them, come out stronger and improve your craft.
1. Recognize the Pattern: You're Not Alone
Insults aimed at authors often follow predictable patterns:
- “You’re wasting your time writing.”
- “Fiction isn’t real work.”
- “Anyone can write a book.”
- “Why haven’t you made money yet?”
- “I didn’t like your characters/plot/style — it was boring/confusing/weird.”
We have all heard these insults. There's nothing new here. If you hear this, start thinking - they heard their mom, dad, grandpa, friend, whoever say this and they are repeating it because they think it's correct. All they're doing is repeating stereotypes. It says nothing about you or your work.
What to do: Understand that these comments aren’t about you personally, but about the speaker’s own history, thoughts and feelings. Knowing this will allow you to personalize the insults and respond in an appropriate manner. Of course, you can also not respond. It's your choice. Take your power back.
2. Separate Constructive Criticism from Personal Attacks
Not all criticism is bad. Constructive feedback helps authors grow. The difference is in tone and intention. Constructive criticism is specific and aimed at improving your work. Personal insults, on the other hand, are vague, dismissive, or hurtful.
Constructive Criticism involves someone highlighting a passage, explaining that they think it needs work and explaining why they think it needs work, along with some suggested fixes.
Personal insults are blanket statements like - I hate your book. You suck as a writer. Get a real job, you loser.
What to do: Determine if there's anything in the comment or remark that you can use to improve your writing. If there isn't, file it away under noise or useless blathering.
3. Build Your Inner Armor
It's important to understand that rejection and criticism are part of being a creator, whether that's an author, painter, graphic artist, musician or being in some other creative field. Creativity is subjective, not objective. What you have to do is build up your emotional resilience — not by becoming numb, but by becoming selective about what (and who) gets to influence your self-worth. If the words aren't helpful, dismiss them. they're not worth your time. After all, you have better things to do than give those people your headspace.
What to do:
- Create a “praise folder” with kind reviews, messages, or even excerpts you’re proud of.
- Stay grounded in why you write — whether it’s for personal expression, readers, or the love of storytelling.
- Celebrate small wins: finishing a chapter, hitting a word count, or receiving thoughtful feedback.
4. Have a Go-To Response for Rude Comments
Be prepared to NOT justify yourself. DOn't seek external validation. Believe in yourself first, and if you get external validation - great, but get to a point where you don't need it. Of course, having a few good comebacks at the ready can't hurt.
Examples:
- “Writing brings me joy. That’s enough for me. Find something that brings you joy that isn't tearing someone else down.”
- “I didn't write my book for everyone, and you're obviously not the intended audience.”
- “Thanks for the feedback. I’ll keep it in mind.” - This one is great because it's the corporate version of F you.
You also don't have to answer. You can give it a half-second pause and change the subject. So, where'd you get those shoes? *wink*
5. Connect with Other Writers
Find some friends in the industry. One of the most powerful antidotes to discouragement is community. Other writers understand the highs and lows of the craft in ways that outsiders often don’t, and other writers are often quick to lend a supporting hand. Many will even read the derided work with an objective eye. Yes, we can do that.
What to do: Join writing groups (online or in person), attend workshops, or participate in critique circles. Sharing experiences and hearing “me too” can validate your struggles and keep you motivated.
6. Reframe the Insult as Fuel
You've probably heard stories of authors wallpapering their offices with rejection letters or creating hate walls just to be contrary. It can be healing because you're taking back the power. The same can be done with dismissive comments. It’s not about revenge — it’s about proving to yourself that your voice matters, and these naysayers can't take you down with harsh words.
What to do: Use negative comments as creative fuel. Channel your frustration into your writing. Let your characters face down critics in fiction — it can be surprisingly therapeutic.
7. Remember: You’re Doing Something Brave and Important
Writing fiction requires imagination, vulnerability, and perseverance. You're creating something from nothing. That alone puts you ahead of the countless critics who never try to do anything constructive or creative.
Final Thoughts
Insults will come. They come for every author — published or aspiring, successful or obscure. What matters is how you respond: not with defensiveness, but with clarity, confidence, and the unshakable knowledge that your stories deserve to be told.
So keep writing. Keep creating. And remember: even the greatest authors had critics who didn’t believe in them — until the world did. show your naysayers who's boss. You can be successful.
Here's a downloadable PDF with a few writing exercises. Alternatively, you can find these exercises in my Shorts videos on Youtube.