A love scene or a scene where characters get hot and heavy with each other can be a daunting sequence to write, especially for budding writers. Writers are concerned about being too vulgar or indecent. When it comes to sexual desire, humans are private animals, and even the most experienced writers can get uncomfortable when depicting an intimate sequence. An excellent way to get over the fear of depicting intimate scenes when writing is by practicing restraint. Since love is an essential part of human nature, an emotionally driven love scene can create a powerful story for any novel. Here are a few tips you can use to get over your fear of writing intimate plots.

1. Read works of experienced writers

Before delving into a steamy love scene in your novel, first, go through the works of experienced writers to determine how well you want to depict your plot. This will help you with ideas on how to avoid vulgarity and how to sculpt your love scene without fear of obscenity. Whether it’s a simple kissing scene or an overly sexual encounter, getting inspiration from seasoned pros can help you think outside the box and create a masterpiece.

2. Decide your area of comfort for reading/writing

A good reason most writers feel afraid of writing love scenes is because they haven’t found their area of comfort yet. Most of them still have doubts about their creative process and how they can develop their characters and portray them in an intimate encounter. Taking time to think about whether your writing makes you comfortable is essential even for pro writers. Before you begin to write any level of an intimate scene, first make sure it’s something you’d be proud of a few years down the line. Determine how far you want to go and how detailed you’d like to describe your highlights before putting pen to paper. Thinking about this will ease your anxiety and enable you to craft the perfect love scene that is well balanced for your readers.

3. Respect the readers, deliver on promises

An important aspect to have when writing an intimate scene is the resolve to deliver. If your readers have expectations of a steamy romantic session somewhere in the story's future, do not disappoint them. Think about what you, as a reader, would feel if your favorite author didn’t deliver on their promise of a good book. This, however, also implies that you should only promise what you know you can provide. Practicing restraint when writing intimate scenes can be a big help and help you avoid excessive details.

4. Build up sexual tension from an early stage

Another way to overcome the fear of writing romantic plots is to break down the sexual tension from the very beginning. Do not wait until halfway into a story to introduce a romantic scene. Making your readers anticipate your thoughts as you write is an excellent way to keep yourself going even though you’re afraid. Introduce sparks, and sexual tension between your characters from the get-go, so that when you deliver the intimate scene, it does not feel off or forced. Please talk about the characters' emotions to set the stage for your scenes early enough, describe the tension between them to build suspense.

5. Set the mood of the scene physically.

To help you relax and clear your mind before you write an intimate scene, think about your characters and the scene you’re about to write. Tune your environment and your thoughts to prepare for the sequence. You can do this by setting up candle lights, scents in your room and surrounding yourself with suggestive textures that trigger your sexual fantasies. Once you set the mood in your mind, it will become easier for your thoughts to flow naturally, and your plot will blossom into an exhilarating experience.

6. Pick your POV carefully

Depending on the gender of your main character, you may want to pick either point of view. Writing an intimate scene is like creating a painting. Think of your characters as your canvas and your book as your medium. What do your readers want to see? You can hop from the point of view of either character if it helps you build the story more confidently.

7. Improvise humor to reduce tension

Humor is a great way to break the tension in any situation, even in a story. Introduce glimpses of humor in your love scene to draw the attention away from the acts of the characters and to give the viewer a feeling of tenderness as they read on. Don’t be afraid to drop in one or two awkward scenes that will introduce a smile on the face of the reader, this will help you build your story and draw focus from the details of the sequence you’re writing.

8. Stick to the plot

Remember, the plot comes first. Use it to regulate how much detail you want to give in your scene. You won’t get it right the first time, but the more stories and scenes you write, the easier it will become to build the scenes. You can also ease the sexual tension by writing more about the emotional investment of the characters involved than their physical interaction. This approach will help you deliver a good plot while masking vulgarities and lowering the sexual tension. Do not drag on the scenes too long unless the genre you’re writing in demands it.


Remember, you won’t write a perfect romantic scene on your first try, and it is okay to be afraid of writing them. Intimacy has always been a private experience for humans, and to write about it may feel awkward at first. But the more you practice, the easier it will become to write, and you will overcome your fear of depicting intimate scenes in your stories.